(The following is NOT Summoner Wars canon – it is a description of a game played between killercactus and thenightsshadow. Consider it akin to "fan fiction," although it is based on an actual game using Second Summoners.)

 As Maldaria marched her band of elves and beasts over the plains, she reflected on the thing she thought about most – herself.

“We shall conquer this land, and I am the perfect conqueror!  Such power and beauty!” she thought.

“Lo!  Prepare for battle!” yelled one of her archers assigned to her personal guard carrying her golden carriage.

The Queen was roused when her guard dropped her carriage to the ground.  “How dare you –“

She stopped short.  Before her stood a troop of Cave Goblins and a summoning wall, but these weren’t the goblins she was used to seeing.  Most goblins are weak, disgusting creatures, but if it was possible, these seemed to even be the misfits of that group.  Some of them had only one leg.  Some of them were half normal size.   The big one staggered around scratching its head like it had just gotten lost in the forest.  Even the summoner wore at eye patch.  As the Queen stood and drew out her stone to erect a Wall of her own, she laughed.

“Pathetic.  Can Itharia give the Queen Maldaria no greater challenge?  Dispose of this rabble quickly – I have urgent business to attend to.” she added to her guard as she thought of her servants waiting for her at the volcano with ambrosia and wine.  She began to admire her helmet and armor as the battle began.

The graceful she-elf and one of the beasts charged out to meet the goblins, while one of her guards notched a fiery arrow, but these goblins did not fall as easily as they should’ve.   The arrow though found its mark, as usual.

“What are you doing?!  Save ME!” she yelled as the guard strayed away from her.

As she screamed, the lumbering idiot and one of the small ones ran forward, each with a one-legged goblin hanging onto its back.  The cripples jumped off into the fray, as Maldaria chuckled to herself.  Surely they were no match for her mightly elves and beasts.  But, these goblins were well led – coordinated by a summoner with skill.  Both of the elves fell.

This enraged the Queen.  She stepped out of her carriage, arrogantly addressing one of the one-legged creatures.  “I shall smite your remains across the forsaken ground!”   She unsheathed her fiery sword, which had not been used in some time, and swung with one hand, her eyes closed in a trance of victory.

The creature ducked.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” she shrieked as the goblin’s hungry look stared her in the face.   “SAVE ME!! SAVE ME!!”

The goblin lashed out at her, gashing her arm and leg.  It sought to weaken her first.  Either it was clever, or the summoner was commanding it from afar.  Maldaria suspected the latter, and a hint of fear crept into her for the first time.  However, she remembered who she was – Queen of the Phoenix Elves, and the most beautiful in the world amongst elves, men, or any other race.  This horde of rabble must pay for this insult.  Through the stone, she summoned lava from her volcano.  It spewed from the top of her summoning wall, burning the one-legged menace to a crisp.  Her loyal guard loosed another arrow that struck down a goblin, and she called the graceful dancer to her to reinforce her position.  Once she was safely behind them, she laughed again.

“Taste my wrath, worthless scum.  You are no match for my power and beauty.”

The goblin summoner though stared into his stone as well, and 2 more of the lumbering morons fizzled into existence, with more crippled goblins as well.  This seemed to be taking no toll on the summoner’s magical prowess at all – the horde just grew.  Soon the oafs and the cripples had surrounded her wall, preventing her from summoning more elves, and began to beat it down.

Her remaining guards shot blasts of fire into the big goblins, but they hardly seemed phased.  “Burn them down!”  she yelled.

Before she knew it, a white, albino goblin was charging at her.  She remembered once hearing a tale of a strange goblin that was actually addicted to magic, and that it had discolored itself permanently.  The white thing sent some magic streaming at her graceful dancer, only for the dancer to disappear in a blaze of fire and reappear, searing the albino slime, though it did not fall.

There were too many goblins now for her liking – she called for her loyal Duke, who materialized next to the wall.  He was the greatest swordsman in the Phoenix Elf empire, which said something.  He dispatched one of the oafs with no effort.  Emboldened by her Champion, Maldaria herself smited another, but behind it were many more goblins of the horde.  Fear crept in alongside her arrogance.

“SAVE ME!!!!!!” she yelled to the dancer, who had still evaded capture.  The dancer quickly appeared between the Queen and the goblins.   Again, the arrogant smile flashed across her face as she was protected yet again.

She’d forgotten though about the cripples that like to ride their brethren.  Before she knew it, one of the goblins ran up alongside the dancer, and one of the one-legged freaks jumped off of its back and snarled at Maldaria.   This time she knew better though, and used the stone to easily parry.  Her faithful dancer though wasn’t so lucky.

Again in peril, Maldaria’s arrogance outweighed her fright.  She laughed at the coming goblins, summoned one of her young beasts, and erected a wall amidst the horde.  Lava spewed forth from it, roasting one of the goblins alive.  Some splattered on the large, lumbering one, and Maldaria’s confidence changed to horror as she watched the large goblin become very angry.  It’s growl shook the ground beneath her.  Her beast tried to finish it off, but to no avail.  One of the smaller goblins ran towards Maldaria, and the beast tried to follow, but Maldaria cut it down first.

The goblin summoner concentrated hard now and brought forth a truly foul creature.  Maldaria couldn’t tell if it was a pig or a bat or some demonic combination, but she could tell that it was hungry.  To deal with the threat, she brought forth Fanessa – the other sword master of the Phoenix Elves, but Maldaria was becoming impatient.  She wanted to go home to her servants, so she turned aside the stone and relied on her own summoning prowess.  Maldaria invoked the sacred bird of their race, and conjured them out of thin air.  As her two champions and two sacred birds destroyed goblin after goblin, she hardly noticed the bat/pig beast devouring the corpses.

The goblins were relentless.  The summoner sent more hordes of rabble at the Duke, but Maldaria was oblivious.  She had her two finest swordsmen fighting, and many of her beautiful birds tearing through goblins.   She was so immersed in her impending victory and the beauty of herself and her precious birds that she didn’t notice Ramazall fall, nor the sneaking runt of a goblin coming up on her flank.  She didn’t notice the sneaking runt pick up rocks from the ground and throw them and, as the beast ate one of her birds, sling them into the next, and then at her.

”Victory” she thought.  “So gallant, so great, so beau-“

*THUD*


Comments


tristak commented:

OOH, fire chickens.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

Adam commented:

Hah! I love it.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

Clarissimus commented:

Good news is that after Maldaria's death her son can gain control of the PE empire.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

thenightsshadow commented:

The only thing I have to say to that is that Frick is hungry.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

glenn3e commented:

Looks like the runts are ranged, and the bat can eat corpses, gaining some advanage.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

Killer Lawnmower commented:

Wow.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

Setharillius commented:

So it IS MALdaria and not MARdaria? I've been confused...

Posted on 2013-01-03.

thenightsshadow commented:

It seems so, Setharillius, it is Maldaria.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

iklabain commented:

I'm lovin' the CGs!

Posted on 2013-01-03.

lildrummahboi34 commented:

IIRC, a long time ago Colby mentioned the Oafs of the CGs. I think he said they can't attack of be attacked. I bet that ability has changed a bit though, maybe more like a Corpulent Mutant.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

Jexik commented:

Nice work, Frank.

Posted on 2013-01-03.

killercactus commented:

Thanks, Jex. I enjoyed writing it and playing the game. Unfortunately we didn't get all the champs and events out, but we still got a good mix. I came into the game wanting to write about Maldaria being arrogant, but a coward, and it was amazing how the game flowed exactly that way. Also nice to have a more even CG vs PE matchup.

I can't wait for everyone to see the cards now and then reread this to understand exactly what's happening.

Posted on 2013-01-04.

Cuffs Alister commented:

You could just tell us now sine you can't wait. :)

Posted on 2013-01-05.

sitnam90 commented:

Great BR! I have always wanted to do one like this but I forget to record any of my games. Thanks for the little spoilers too!

Posted on 2013-01-05.

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