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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012

    Default The story of Hookmaw

    For part one look in contest discussion forum.

    PART 2.

    Shadows circled over Dreadmound. Terrified rats scattered, running into warrens, and diving into near by heaps, some fled Dreadmound all together. When the flock descended no rat saw more from their hiding place than boney feet striking down on the dusty ground.

    "Get out 'ere, ya bunch o' worthless cowards!." Noses began peaking out to see Snag shouting from the the back of a sleek black rook. Grizzard paced between a full score of varying dark colored birds, each with a rat clinging to its back feathers. As they listen to Snag's shouts, every rat shot a nervous glance to the top of his mound where perched Scarcraw, noting that their was no rider on him. No rat had noticed the absence of Hookmaw, including Snag, who was far too busy with his boasts and promises of victory in the war they had yet to start.

    Swift breezes blew from the west. Hookmaw could smell the foul stank of Dreadmound in the wind, as it ruffled his fur. There was a sudden gust, and Quilldropper was pushed, but quickly steadied. He peered back at the rat expecting to see him rattled, instead he saw exhilaration. Not on his face, Hookmaw's face was contorted into the same sneer it always was, but his eyes showed what his expression didn't. The rat even dared lean far enough off the side to gaze down on the world below.

    Quilldropper could not resist testing the metal of the rat, who he had seen stare at death twice now without wavering. He suddenly jerked to one side sending Hookmaw fumbling across his back. Quickly burying his claws in feathers, the rat balanced himself and glared at the bird. Catching the black bird completely by surprise Hookmaw threw all of his weight onto one of it's wings. Feathers burst into the air, as the two veered wildly left. It took a moment for Quilldropper to level out. Without looking back the black bird dove, swooping down into the branches of the trees below.

    Feathers and leaves exploded into the air as the large bird burst into the canopy. Cutting over and under between limbs, the hook beak dove. One particularly narrow gap had put Hookmaw sprawled on his belly to avoid being swept away. Quilldropper let out an amused cackle at the sight of the irritated way the rat picked himself up. "Think thats funny do you?," the rat teased and pounced once again on the birds left wing. They veered wildly once more this time directly towards the thick oak tree trunk. Quilldropper spun, Talons ripped into bark and feathers rained down around tree as they flew away from it.

    "Try it again!," Quilldropper shouted as the he flew into a large briar that had claimed the ground below. Thorns nearly as long as Hookmaws own arm reached out from every branch, forcing him the dodge left and right as the black bird wove around the maze of spikes. The promise of death waited around every turn, but somehow Hookmaw felt more alive than he ever had. Anxiously awaiting the next bend and what surprises it might bring. He found himself not bothering to dodge as they sped toward a particularly long thorn, instead reaching out and plucking it from the branch as they passed. A few turns and swoops later they appeared out of the tangle into a locus filled field that bordered the lush green land beyond. A well timed jab of the thorn skewered one of the hoppers. Hookmaw waved the bug triumphantly as the bird made to perch on a near by sapling.

    The test was over. It wasn't until they landed that Quilldropper saw how far the rat had surpassed all expectations. One leg on the pinned grass hopper still kicked, the black bird stared hungrily as it struggled futilely. "You want dis?," Hookmaw said extending the thorn lance. Quilldropper latched on to the bug and pulled it weapon and all from the rats grasp. Ravenously, He set upon the thing, crunching down through the thorn with a single snap of his beak. Looking back to the rat he spoke, "Rexus, shoulda been born wit' wings."

    "Not Rexus," the rat replied sharply. "That name no longer means anything to me. I have a new destiny, call me Hookmaw." Quilldropper gave him a puzzled look, "Whats that?," He insisted. "You'll see," Hookmaw promised, "you'll see."
    Last edited by Ravenchild; 09-24-2015 at 02:26 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009


    Excellent! I enjoyed this a bunch!
    Always the Mice Guy!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012


    Thank you. I am really grateful that you take the time to read my story. I hope that everyone who reads this is enjoying the tale. I welcome any feed back. Soon to come, the first custom senerio in "the Story of Hookmaw."
    Last edited by Ravenchild; 09-24-2015 at 07:22 PM.

  4. #4


    Love your writing. I was enthralled during the whole thing. You made it very easy to visualize the story. And, if I may add, I think you've just created a relate-able anti-hero! Can't wait to read more from you!

  5. #5


    Ravenchild, read the first part and just finished this part, loved every word. Can not wait to read more from you and to see your custom cards.

  6. #6


    1 great article thank you for sharing yourself and everyone in the forums offline

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